An elephant in a china shop. Elephant in a china shop - meaning

Hello dear reader # 1 and dear reader # 2.

I distinguish you on a very simple basis: one of you is already hysterical about the epic with crypto-paging, and the second does not even understand what it is about.

What is crypto paging

If you are reader # 2 and do not understand what “crypto-paging” is, then catch the main theses of this glorious phenomenon:
Crypto-paging is a suspicious very small transaction (up to 0.00001 BTC) that got to a large (and not only) wallet. As a rule, it is found in flocks of 5-25 pieces to different addresses.
A pattern was found that after these small movements there is a manipulative, often against the trend, impulse movement of the BTC / USD quote. And this pump / dump carries with it the rest of the crypto market with its promising blockchain projects.
Analyzing message chains and wallets, many interesting connections were found: between Roger Ver and the cold wallets of top exchanges, the first bitcoin miners, the Canadian exchange QuadrigaCX, Silk Road, Uri Levin, Mavrodi (lol), etc.
The cue ball blockchain is not only a P2P payment system, but also a communication system - you can send text messages and even program code (scripts) - along with a transaction, the size of which does not matter.

If you want more details, lulz and more, then grab a list of articles on the topic of crypto paging and the fuck around it all: one, two, three, four, five, six

Go for it. May the strength of the spirit, the luminosity of the mind and the four-leafed luck be with you.

Well, if you are already familiar with crypto-paging, then I will tell you this.

This article is partly about crypto-paging, but it should be separate from the rest of our materials, since in its importance it is tantamount to crypto-paging as such.

But first things first.

How often has it happened in your life that you left to understand something so deeply that you stopped seeing the obvious things? Or, has it ever happened to you that changing the instruments of analysis (or examination) of something, you literally began to see clearly, and began to reproach yourself that you wasted time earlier?

This is approximately how I feel now.

I want to start this material with a microscope. Yes, yes: the microscope, as well as the elephant, fit very well into my story.

As described in this article, a healthy human eye is able to distinguish objects that are at least 0.08 mm apart from each other.

Engineers did not stand still, and once the smartest of them came up with an optical microscope, which made it possible to study objects with a resolution of 0.2 microns. And so we learned to look at cells and bacteria.

Well, then the corresponding technological era came, and electron microscopes with a resolution of up to 0.01 nm were invented. And with their appearance, we learned to see molecules.

And this entertaining historical reference is also relevant to us. Because in our investigations we have come to a point from which you see neither the globally large (elephant) nor the smallest small (molecule).

Existential impasse, fuck.

And all this happened because we chose the wrong analysis tool. Rather, the selected tools no longer meet our requirements.

Chapter 1. Changing the magnifying glass to a microscope.

Have you ever wondered how a quote is built? What is the mechanism for calculating it and turning it into a visual graph?

I, at the dawn of the first materials about crypto-paging, did not think about this topic. And in the end I got into a dead end, and realized that I needed to reconsider my ideas, as well as my toolbox.

Look, the charts on these trading views of yours are formed according to the principle of collecting OHLCV information (Open, High, Low, Close, Volume) from crypto exchanges.

This is not the only way to form a quote chart.

The chart can also be generated based on Tick-information, that is, based on a tape of transactions with the results of each individual transaction in the order book for each fraction of a second (Tick), for the entire existence of the exchange.

A quote built on the basis of the Tick date allows you to look into the very depth of the formation of price fluctuations - using such a chart you can build a cluster structure of a candle, pull out a delta and do many other things that are still incomprehensible to you (further, ofc, I will explain everything).

Tick-date turned out to be a very expensive item. For example, there are resources ready to sell such a date from one crypto-exchange for 1,499 euros, and from the entire crypto market - for 9,999 euros.

Another difficulty is the fact that special software is needed to work with the schedule based on the Tick-date.

Not without the help of our omnipotent collective mind (thanks, Tasha), we managed to identify only a few softin working with Tick-date. I decided not to download any kind of executable-programs-from-forums, and first of all try a demo of a paid software for analyzing quotes on the Tick-date from TigerTrade.

The platform costs about 50 bucks per month, and if you are one of those who leave the cryptocurrency market about 0.005-0.008 bitcoins over the same period, because you have put only TP, not stops, or vice versa (hello binance), then you should seriously think about it. looking for third-party solutions for their crypto trading.

We will talk about some of the features of the Tick-date analysis below, but if you are interested in what the software attracted my attention, then here is a short extract about the TigerTrade platform by my authorship. I am publishing it as a separate material, so as not to overload the already large text of this article.

So, we have armed ourselves with the tools, and now we go further.

Chapter 2. A little materiel.

Let's start with some theoretical concepts.

As I wrote above, a candlestick chart of a quote can be drawn with OHLCV data (Open, High, Low, Close, Volume) at hand, or using fucking times more information that is parsed as a result of constant analysis of the order book and completed deals (Tick- data).

As a result, the candle built on the basis of the Tick data is globally identical to the OHLCV candle, but it can be dissected into components - the so-called. clusters.

OHLCV candles. BTC / USDT, watch, Binance, TigerTrade (hereinafter "TT").

Cluster candles (Bid x Ask). BTC / USDT, watch, Binance (TT). The last 5 hourly candles from the chart on the picture above, 3x - an increase.

Close-up cluster candles (Bid x Ask). BTC / USDT, watch, Binance (TT). 10x - magnification.

A cluster is a cell in which information is grouped on the results of all trading ticks at the corresponding price (for more details about clusters, see here).

A cluster candlestick, in its body and shadows, consists of vertically aligned clusters.

Given the size of the Tick-date that can be compiled in various ways, there are an overload of cluster types (clusters by volume, by delta, by interest, etc.).

The figure below shows the "Bid x Ask" cluster, and we will talk about it further.

Cluster in person

The Bid x Ask cluster is built on the X x Y principle.

In the example above, the value 12 x 26 in the hour candle means that at the price corresponding to the cluster (6521 USD on Binance - author's note), in 1 hour, 12 bitcoins were traded at the Bid price, and 26 bitcoins at the Ask price ...

From the second lecture of the course of maroon berets, we remember that the quotes chart displays the results of market purchases from limit holders for sell and market sales - for limit owners to buy.

In turn, the Bid price is the price of the sell limiter closest to the spread, and the Ask price is the price of the buy limit closest to the spread:

BTC / USDT. Cup. Binance.

In the glass above:
Price-Bid = 6 517.98 USDT;
Ask price = 6 512.04 USDT;
The spread is an empty area with no orders between 6,512.04 and 6,517.98 USDT.

A cluster on the hour candlestick with a value of 12 x 26 means that in an hour there were made deals for 38 bitcoins (12 + 26), of which 12 bitcoins were sold by limit holders at the Bid price and 26 bitcoins were bought by limiters at the Ask price.

If you don't understand, stop, kurni, and read again.

And if you understand everything, then the difference between 26 and 12 is called delta.

A positive delta means that there were more buyers than sellers, and a negative delta, on the contrary. We will return to the delta later.

Chapter 3. Molecules and microscopes.

The reader may well wonder what the fuck he read all these clusters, bidasks and other necronomicon.

But let's leave the bidasky alone for now and talk about our beloved crypto-paging.

I decided to postpone the last received signals from crypto pagers on a cluster chart in order to look for regularities in this.

And, as usual, a very curious picture turned out.

One of the "fresh" examples: the table below shows crypto-paging that happened on the night of July 1-2, 2018.

If you look at the candlestick chart right after the crypto paging, it gives a hint of manipulation, but does not give an exact understanding of what actually happened:

All zones of purchases and sales from the above graph would have remained incomprehensible to us if we had not had a microscope (cluster graph) at hand. And if the candlestick chart is opened in a cluster form, then the whole picture is revealed like this:

See the text for the graphic, and below for an explanation:
Buckets after a downward impulse are a bearish candlestick with buckets at the bottom, as evidenced by a large number of Bid x Ask buying clusters. The quotation was falling, at the bottom it was bought off.
The blue column is the date the crypto paging was received.
Zone 1 - a narrow buy zone is created immediately behind the blue column, as indicated by Bid-Ask clusters and a positive delta in the histogram below the chart (there are more buyers than sellers). Purchasing range 6,325 - 6,348.
Zone 2 - after zone 1, the quotes are drained without trading volumes from 6,348 to 6,290, and the second zone of accumulation of purchasing clusters in the range 6,290 - 6,312 opens.

Cluster chart: BTC / USDT, hourly, Binance (TT)
After purchases in Zone 2, the quotation grows from 6 312 to 6 345 (07:00 Moscow time-5).
Zone add. purchases before to-the-moon - an area of ​​additional accumulation of purchasing clusters in the upper half of Zone 1. Range of purchases 63 37 - 6 349.

Cluster chart: BTC / USDT, hourly, Binance (TT)
This to-the-moon candlestick itself passed with practically no volume.
The candlestick reached approximately 6,666 USDT. I have already said that you cannot compare the values ​​of crypto-paging transactions with the price of an asset, however, quite clearly 0.00000666 BTC is compared to 6 666 BTC / USDT.
After the pump, the Sales Zone appeared with the accumulation of clusters with sellers in the range of 6 585 - 6 660.
The entire pump took place on the negative delta (see the histogram under the corresponding candles), which indicates the unloading of whale positions on this pump - they sold more than they bought.

An interesting fact is that purchasing cluster zones began to appear after crypto-paging, and not earlier. Earlier, clusters for purchases and sales alternate rather chaotically, but here, "as if in agreement."

Personally, I understand everything here. Manipulation. Most likely like this:
Signal 0.00000666 BTC passed.
We went shopping in three zones.
The pump has passed.
Sales started.

Let's look at one more example. This time we will talk about crypto-paging from June 24, 2018, namely:

In this example, the pump mechanism was different.

Candlestick chart:

BTC / USDT 30 Minute, Binance, Tradingview.

And again, the rather hazy picture on OHLCV charts is revealed in all its glory in Bid-Ask clusters:

After receiving a crypto-paging of 0.00000545 BTC, the quotation was sold in large sales to the price of 5,750. And on loys, but not less than 5,750, it was about an hour. At the same time, the delta showed a surge in purchases, which resulted in a pump candle at 16:30 on June 24, 2018 (Moscow time-5).
A similar downward pressure for selling by limit holders existed at the candlestick from 15:00 (Moscow time-5). That is, before the signal. And the delta on that candle is negative.
It is also interesting that on the pump-candle from 16:00 (Moscow time-5) there were large purchases at around 5 880, and the next candle from 16:30 (Moscow time-5) could not even let its tail go below 5 880.

Cluster Chart: BTC / USDT, 30 min, Binance (TT)
The pump-candle from 16:30 (Moscow time-5) took the quote from 5,880 to 6,250. The pump was driven by aggressive purchases, which had a strong impact on the delta.
The next candlestick (17:00, Moscow time-5) extinguished the entire accumulated positive delta literally "to zero".
After zeroing the delta, Zone 1 of purchases passes, and then the sale and the second zeroing of the delta. Then there is Zone 2 of purchases with the subsequent sale, which led to a decrease, but not zeroing of the delta. Both buy / sell zones passed in the range of 6,145 - 6,180.

It can be noted that the ways of manipulation behavior on different signals are different. In the second case:
Signal 0.00000545 BTC passed.
The price was passed by the limit holders "to the floor", after that the limit holders were removed.
From the “floor”, the quote moved to the pump with two candles, and in the body of the first candle there was a zone of large purchases in the market (for 108 bits), which became the basis for the second candle.
The second and main pump candle went all the way from 5 875 to 6 140 without large trades, the trades themselves with volumes began in the range above 6 140.
The second pump candle merged from 6,255 to 6,130, while all the cue balls bought on the main pump-candle were sold, filigree zeroing the positive delta.
After the correction, in the range 6 145 - 6 180 there was a flat with the buy and sell zones, calculated in such a way that the delta was reset to zero.

Let me clarify: the growth of the delta from zero to X means that X more cue ball was bought than sold. And when the delta is zeroed from X to 0, it means that all surplus purchases have been sold (but more expensive).

Well, how do you deal?

In this whole story, it is important to understand that information about clusters and deltas cannot be obtained in a generally accepted way, since usually graphs are built as a result of analyzing OHLCV dates (and not Tick dates, as I wrote above), so information about clusters is not available to most of us. !

It is also important to understand that in the period from the decadence of June 10 (when we fell out of a very important uptrend) to the present day, not all pumps and dumps were manipulative in nature. In any case, we are not aware of crypto-paging for all these impulses.

Some impulses occurred on the basis of bad news about hacker hacks, closed crypto-exchanges in Suriname, and other info-huits that you and I have long been accustomed to (or not?).

Chapter 4. Murashi and a bicycle.

I don't remember where, but once I read or looked out for a very useful answer to the question "Is there a God?"

The answer went something like this:

“Imagine that the creeps are crawling on the bike. What is the probability that ants will understand why they are crawling? What it is? What is it used for? That's right, none. Murashi will never be able to understand a bicycle, because a bicycle is too complicated for a goose-bumping perception of the world. So in our case, God is too global and complex for our understanding of the phenomenon. "

The same phenomenon, in my opinion, is big crypto money.

Poking around in small transactions, it is very easy to lose sight of the global picture of what is happening. Rather, the global picture is too incomprehensible and complex, but some of its fragments that allow us to unravel the tangle further, as usual, lie under our noses.

If you have been with me for a long time, then in the first part of crypto-paging, I wondered why there was a "June decadence" when on June 10 we fell out of a very important uptrend, which I called the "line of miners", and flew to hell.

Then I meant this graph:

BTC / USD daily, Coinbase

I did not yet realize that I had come across crypto-paging, and all that I was able to find was the patterns between the movements of the big cue balls and the fluctuations of the quote.

Now, let's measure the quote chart from June 10 to today, and reflect on this chart the most massive mailings of crypto-paging signals:

BTC / USD, 4-hour, Bitfinex.

Zepa-since-10th-of-June happened when we dropped from 7,650 to 5,800, and now we are hanging out in the range between 5800 and 6700. During this time, there were only three obvious crypto-paging mailings.

Obvious, because the well-known tg-bot (https://t.me/botomex) wrote about them, and many were in the know.

But we cannot say for sure how many mailings there were during this period. We stupidly do not know all of their mailing wallets. For example, I did not take wallets-with-eights into account.

But there was overdoing news.

Come on, on the same chart we will superimpose the main "news" for this period:

BTC / USD, 4-hour, Bitfinex.

The legend of the chart is expressed in the presence of two types of news, which I divided by the color of the label.

The first group is the "orange" news, on which we fell from the "line of miners" (7,650) into the range of 5800-6700.

The second group is the "blue" news, on which we continued to hang out for almost a month in the range of 5800-6700.

The chart does not include news about Coinbase Custody and Binance Hack. You can put them on the quote yourself as an optional task.

To save time, I summarized the news on the chart, and you will find it more fully and with proofs in a separate subsection. Click here and read the super-important news in full detail.

You may well ask the question, why the fuck am I stuffing you with a chart with crypto-paging and news, they say, and it is clear that the market is being manipulated. You yourself ate to prove it to me!

And you will be right, but not everywhere.

Look, an interesting feature is that crypto-paging and news keep the quote within the 5800-6700 range (in the chart above, this area is highlighted in yellow).

As soon as the quote reaches the highs, then all sorts of fucks immediately appear on the cryptocurrency market: either an attack-51%, then crypto-nightmares in India, etc. Under the guise of such news, manipuli turn the quotation down.

And below they talk about Coinbase Custody and turn it up. And so to the shit.

But it is not important. What matters below is what I called the sleeping elephant in the china shop.

Remember I told you to remember about the delta. And did you talk a few more times about a positive (more purchases) and negative (more sales) delta?

In addition to the "delta", which is calculated based on the results of clusters of individual candles, there is also such a thing as "cumulative delta". The cumulative delta is the sum of all positive deltas minus all negative deltas.

The cumulative delta is calculated for the specified period, as well as for all candles loaded into the chart.

Now, if you are ready, then catch the cumulative delta for the period from June 10 to July 4, 2018 (see the indicator below the graph):

Cluster Chart: BTC / USDT, 30 min, Binance (TT). Cumulative delta for all loaded candles.

The indicator below the graph shows that during the period under review (June 10 - July 4), on binance, the positive cumulative delta increased from 19,185 BTC to 87,060 BTC. That is, for the period from June 10 to July 4, the cumulative delta increased by 67,875 BTC.

This means that from June 10 to July 4, 67,875 BTC more than sold were bought and put off somewhere. And all this happened without affecting the quotation, which, instead of growing (there are more purchases than sales), hangs in the 5800-6700 range, which is comfortable for someone.

The whales are jamming! And this can be seen on the cluster chart! And on Binance they do it to dibilism stupidly.

If you look at the cumulative volume on OKEx, the picture is slightly different:

Cluster chart: BTC / USDT, 30 min, OKEx (TT). Cumulative delta for all loaded candles.

In the period from June 10 to June 24, there was a small flat unloading, but from June 24 to July 4, there is a pronounced purchase of the cue ball, while it dangles in the range of 5800-6700.

And if you look at the delta from the stratosphere (weekly chart of Bitfinex), then the picture is diametrically opposite:

Cluster chart: BTC / USDT, Week, Bitfinex (TT).

Since July 2017, more bitcoin has been sold on Bitfinex than it has been bought. At the beginning of sales (the delta fell below zero in July 2017) the cue ball cost about 2,000 ye. It is likely that now, hamster grooming has reached its climax, and we will go up a little to "grow fur".

Globally - the cue ball has been on sale for a whole year.

Locally - the cue ball is bought because we were at 5,800 and now bounced up.

Everything is relatively “quiet” on the cryptomarket: the elephant is asleep and the dishes are intact.

But why these big sales and purchases are taking place, and what July 2017 has to do with it, I do not know.

And I also don't know how many dishes will break when this elephant wakes up ...

Epilogue. Hidden Clause The Algorithm.

In this rather extensive work, we managed to look under a microscope into the manipulative movement of the market, and at the cluster level to see exactly how this manipulation occurs.

And also, we managed to look at the quote from the stratosphere (using the delta), having discerned the global picture:
Since July 2017, more cue ball has been sold than bought. Which suggests that the entire pump and dump of BTC / USD at the end of 2017 is artificial, in order to shave people who have flown in on HYIP.
In the period from June 10 to July 4, there is a purchase of bitcoins, which is stupidly pale on Binance and more realistic on other exchanges (shown on the example of OKex). There is an opinion that a large number of guys with OTC are running on binance, which is why there is such a fierce delta.

And there is also an opinion that crypto-exchanges are a total offshore, where non-existent bitcoins are traded and so on. I am silent about the impulse fluctuations of the quotation, which hint at momentum-ignition algorithms, but this is still from a series of arguments. And I'm also silent about wash-trades, spoofs, rails and the rest ...

This is not the first time I have threatened crypto exchanges with my investigation. Given that I now have a microscope in the form of Tick data, I think I'm ready and can run into Binance and co.

But what conclusions can we come to exactly in this article?

Local output. It is the same hidden rule The Algorithm from the 6th article about crypto-paging.

After a huge number of hours that I spent analyzing market manipulation, the real answer I got only after seeing the clusters.

The hidden rule sounds like this: crypto paging is underway, look at the clusters, see the prerequisites for growth - get up in the direction of the momentum. Aerobatics will be the control of altos under such manipulative impulses.

And yes, don't thank me for all this. I now, one might say, adjusted the Grail to you. Do not forget to read about the cluster analysis platform that I liked.

Global output. And he's extremely sad. The cue ball has been sold by whales since July 2017 (already a year), and the first sales began when the cue ball cost 2000. Therefore, any price above 2000 is profitable for these sellers.

The bubble with a hike of up to 20k was inflated against the background of sales! There were more sales! After falling into the abyss, there are still more sales!

Considering that locally the whales are again on the "purchase", then we should expect the next growth to a certain 34th "triangle", and again a drain.

And so to shit (or up to 2k) will rock the boat.

Or something may happen that again changes the paradigm of the crypto market. Satoshi Nakamoto's appearance on the stage, for example.

Most importantly, keep a close eye on the sleeping elephant! And don't get caught when he wakes up!

As usual, I leave you alone with all this.

And so I came home happy, and then this acquaintance came to visit me and began to tell me what problems he had in the family with children, with an apartment, and his wife did not work, and was in deep debt ... And now my joy is gradually disappears, and I feel like the last idiot and guilty without guilt.

From that moment it all began - I behave like an elephant in a china shop. Wherever I turn, and whatever I do, I leave behind the fragments of someone's dream. And then there was such a streak in life that I get everything, no matter what I think about, as if on a platter, but always with a makeweight - I can see exactly at whose expense I get everything.

I feel bad. I cannot understand why fate is punishing me so. I look at other people and envy. They have no such problems. They live for themselves, not thinking about anything, they take everything that their hands reach and do not make any calculations with their conscience.

This went on for a long time, but one day it finally got to me. I have never played bingo, but here it was as if the devil pulled me - I went to the kiosk and bought a ticket, and at the same time told the seller that I needed to check how lucky I was at least once in my life. I rubbed the paint, without leaving the window, looked out the numbers ... You guessed it.

I was very happy, but here an elderly man who was standing nearby said quietly and sadly that, they say, he has been buying lottery tickets on a regular basis for several years now, everyone hopes to win a large sum. And then it must be the same, the man came and immediately grabbed the jackpot. I don’t know, maybe someone else would have immediately covered up with the difference between luck and failure, but it struck me great. Immediately I imagined how many people invested money so that I, in passing, ripped off this amount.

And I decided to take serious steps and change my life. Only in which direction? Or abandon everything in life, or change your character and become like all people, and use what floats into your hands, without looking back at anyone?

I chose the first one. On the second, I would not pull, I immediately understood that. I have read and seen films about yogis. This is necessary, the person is frozen for centuries, and he does not need anything, and his head does not hurt about anything. Everyone is running, scurrying, looking for something, pushing each other away from the trough, grunting, squealing, and he froze in thought about eternity, calm and happy.

I also decided to become a yogi. No, I did not go to India, I found myself a teacher right here on the spot. Rama is his name, and before he was Roma. So, this guy has been mastering yoga for five years in India.

I came to his house on an ad on the Internet, I look, and he is so thin, his head is shaved, his eyes are staring at close range and do not blink. I felt uneasy from such a look, but I didn’t show it, I took heart and say that I also want to become a yogi.

I told him about my ordeals, and he grinned knowingly and said: "Hey, friend, leave me, this is not for you. I had one - I wanted to find peace of mind in contemplation and meditation. Well, I worked with him for about a year. He turned out to be capable - he grasped everything on the fly, and quickly began to develop his body.

But suddenly he once declares to me: what is the meaning of life, in general? I explained to him that it is necessary to stop the flame of desires, to free the mind from everything material in order to focus on the development of awareness, awakening of spiritual potential.

He left, and I swore to deal with those who, instead of immersion in themselves, think about how to save humanity, how you can help it, so that there will be less suffering on Earth. As if he can do it. Go look elsewhere, I'm sure there will be people like you. "

So I'm looking to this day. Can you tell me by chance how you can learn to live and at least not interfere with anyone?

Shuttle. About a big awkward person who found himself in a cramped environment among fragile, brittle objects ... Dictionary of many expressions

Noun., M., Upotr. cf. often Morphology: (no) who? elephant, to whom? elephant, (see) whom? elephant, by whom? elephant, about whom? about an elephant; pl. who? elephants, (no) who? elephants to whom? elephants, (see) whom? elephants by whom? elephants, about whom? about elephants 1. An elephant is called ... ... Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary

BUT; m. 1. A large herbivorous mammal with a long trunk and two tusks (inhabits tropical Africa and Asia). African s. Indian s. 2. Fam. About a tall, fat, awkward person. Can a bicycle withstand such an elephant! On a sort of elephant ... encyclopedic Dictionary

elephant- but/; m. see also. elephant, elephant, elephant 1) Large herbivorous mammal with a long trunk and two tusks (lives in tropical Africa and Asia) African elephant. Indian elephant. 2) ... Dictionary of many expressions

ELEPHANT, ah, husband. 1. A large proboscis mammal of tropical countries with two large tusks. African s. Indian s. You can't even notice an elephant (transl .: not notice the main thing; colloquial joke). S. in a china shop (about a big and awkward person, ... ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

See rude, awkward ... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and expressions similar in meaning. under. ed. N. Abramova, M .: Russian dictionaries, 1999. clumsy ... Synonym dictionary

Cm … Synonym dictionary

The TV series Mythbusters tests urban legends, rumors and other creations of popular culture. We kindly ask everyone who makes edits to this article. Before editing, please review the specific issue for which you ... ... Wikipedia

Pocket, kitty, purse, kotoma (knapsack), kalita, sack, knapsack, suma (bag), bag. Wed ... Synonym dictionary

The TV series MythBusters tests urban legends, rumors and other pop culture. Below is a list of some of the myths tested in the show and the results of these experiments. In the fifth season, the TV shows were ... Wikipedia

Books

• Elephant in the Museum, Zartayskaya Irina Vadimovna. In one small and little-known museum, an ad appeared: "A caretaker is required in the sculpture hall." This story could become the most common if the caretaker did not find a job ... an elephant, ...

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Once a hundred new boxes were brought from the factory to the cramped room of the Sysertsky Porcelain store. The saleswoman unpacked one by one, taking out the goods without haste, and dictating to herself, writing down the names in a thick barn book: “Candlestick on a stand, 1 pc., With gilding. Saucers for Gzhel, 10 pcs., A service, - her muttering began to lull everyone around, when suddenly: Elephant porcelain, 1 pc., Souvenir. "

What confusion began on the shelves!

“Mi-mi-mi,” the porcelain mice squeaked in horror. - What will happen now? An elephant in a china shop! "

“How are we going to live with such a mass? the porcelain dogs barked in despair. "What if he's as tall as Mount Everest?"

However, the elephant Farf turned out to be much smaller than the mountain. The porcelain factory produced all toys of approximately the same size. Exactly enough to fit on the glass shelf of the sideboard.

“Fi, it seems, it’s a dwarf elephant,” the porcelain ballerinas giggled and whispered among themselves.

The elephant noticed that the young ladies were showing attention to him, and politely greeted: “Good afternoon! You laugh so fervently. Are you telling each other something funny? "

“Fi-fi, rude elephants do not understand girlish secrets,” the ballerinas whispered.

Nobody wanted to be friends with an elephant. Everyone looked at him with suspicion and thought something unkind. True, the saucers did not know how to think and speak, but they still stared at the newcomer like bulging multi-colored eyes.

Only the porcelain angel with the book paid no attention to what was happening. He seemed to be immersed in reading.

"Angel, even though you intercede," the elephant sounded to him. "You are literate, you know that the Lord created all animals good."

“That's how it is,” said the angel with dignity. If he had glasses on his nose, he would definitely correct them with the tip of his finger. - That's how it is, but still, an elephant in a china shop is somehow unusual. Unconventionally, I would say. And it's not safe. "

"What if you break our porcelain theater?" - suggested one of the ballerinas.

Indeed, on the next shelf there is a whole street of porcelain buildings: temples with crosses, palaces, huts and even porcelain wells. All of them had inconspicuous caps on top. The price tag stated that these were vessels for storing holy water.

“What can happen? - the elephant was surprised. - I am porcelain and theater is porcelain. Maybe I would like to see a porcelain ballet. Or pray in a china temple. "

But as soon as he moved his foot ... Or maybe he didn't, it just seemed to everyone. All the porcelain residents breathed out in unison: "No-no!"

The elephant had to stay put. Farf tried to look at the cover of the book the angel was reading.

“Listen, angel, the book with the cross. A Psalter, perhaps? " the elephant asked.

The angel was silent. He did not mind, at least, he probably agreed.

“Read Psalm 103 aloud to me,” Farf said. - Where it is said about birds, animals and cedars, how they praise the Lord.

The angel was still silent.

"Yes, your pages are not turning!" - the elephant guessed and stretched his trunk to try to leaf through.

"Hey! - offended the angel. "I always read only one page, that's the way it should be."

"I thought ..." - the elephant made excuses.

“You think too much! Are you the smartest? It should be simpler. Where it is simple, there are a hundred angels. "

The porcelain angel knew what he was talking about. Behind the showcase, in cardboard boxes, were kept 99 of his brothers - from the same factory batch.

So day after day passed. There were two or more toys in the window, and only the elephant was left alone, unlike anyone else. For this, no one wanted to be friends with him.

And for some reason the buyers, although they paid attention to the unusual item, were in no hurry to acquire it. They were more interested in saucers, cups and jugs, in extreme cases, mice and dogs.

Of course, you give your child a mouse, he will carry it across the carpet and say "mi-mi-mi!" But if a child is given an elephant? What sounds will the unfortunate man have to make? Buzz?

“You must do good, elephant,” the angel once turned to Farf. "Benefit people."

"I will be glad!" the elephant readily declared.

“You see, people value useful items! the angel explained to him. "For example, if you had a round hole in your trunk ..."

“A hole in the trunk? What for?"

"Do not interrupt! If you had a suitable hole in your trunk, you could put a candle in there and light it. "

"Do you want me to puff on fire?" Farf was surprised.

“I don’t want anything, I’m just explaining to you how to benefit humanity. Further. If you had a cap on your back ... "

"I have a multicolored blanket on my back!"

"And if instead of it there was a lid with a handle, it could be lifted and filled with lamp oil."

"Is there no better use for elephants than pouring oil into them?"

“I know,” the ballerina intervened. “People love it when elephants on a bicycle show numbers in a circus!”

White Farf almost blushed. Since childhood, he was embarrassed to admit to girls that he did not know how to ride a bicycle.

“Let me give you a ride like this! he suggested. "And I read Kipling out loud."

But the ballerina did not know anything about Kipling, because no ballets were staged based on his works. So Farf only heard "fi-fi-fi" in response.

One day the floor in a china shop shook.

“Slo-he! Quiet! Don `t move!" all the porcelain inhabitants said in unison.

Only Farf was innocent. A whole delegation of black people entered the shop. They were all in black robes, with black hoods on their heads. And their faces were black.

“Oh, we rarely have blacks! - exclaimed the saleswoman, and immediately got scared that she said impolitely: - Would you like to get a little white mouse, father? Or a dog? "

The Negro Archimandrite was attentively examining the display case.

"Tembo! Mfalme va msitu! " - he nodded to the assistant.

"Ngombe nzuri," he agreed.

"Poso kani ta elephanta?" - the archimandrite switched from Swahili to Greek, for this is the language of the Orthodox Church in Africa.

“Oh, do you want to buy an elephant? - the saleswoman guessed. - Would you like to wrap it up?

The elephant was packed in a gift box, and he went, where he was supposed to, to the Black Continent.

And in Russia it was a rainy summer. The inhabitants of the porcelain shop watched the drops crawling on the window pane all day. They would be happy if drops fell on them, because over time, the shelves of the shop windows, and they themselves began to be covered with dust.

All the porcelain conversations were repeated many times. And even an angel is tired of looking at the same page of a book that is not being turned over.

“It's rainy season in Kenya,” sighed the ballerina. "Some are lucky ... with business trips abroad."

“Once he went abroad, it means he speaks foreign languages,” one of the dogs guessed. "Wasn't he a spy?"

But no one supported her. Even a spy, but still a friend, it’s boring without him.

If only porcelain elephants could write porcelain letters, and there was a mailbox in the china shop to receive postcards!

¹The enterprise belongs to the Yekaterinburg Metropolitanate. - Ed.

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